Graduating from high school is a significant life event. Everything you have done in life to this point has been preparing you for this day. You see, life is a series of goals and accomplishments that build to and culminate in significant life events. The things you are doing now will eventually manifest in future life events.
We all start as babies—helpless, but with goals. The first goal is using your fingers; you spend hours staring at and moving them until you discover the unique relationship fingers have with the nose. Other significant accomplishments include crawling, eating with your fingers, pulling the dog’s tail, and walking. As a toddler, the goals get a little tougher: learning your colors, the alphabet, and not to eat the sand from the sandbox, culminating in a major life event—the crucible of potty training: learning not to poop your pants! Master and remember this one, as it will be important to your future success.
Next comes kindergarten, where you meet new friends and expand your sphere of influence. Your goal is to be king of the playground. You accomplish this by showing your prowess on the sliding board. You master the basic sitting slide, then go down headfirst with arms outstretched like Superman, and then go down headfirst lying on your back. A couple of high swings on the swing set solidify your royalty while giving your mother a free blood pressure test! You also get to finger-paint in kindergarten—a way to use fingers that doesn’t include your nose is always a plus. You can show off your artistic talent by gobbing the paint in a classmate's hair, preferably the girl with the pretty blonde hair. You are now the center of attention and the big man on campus. Mission fulfilled.
Now you are off to big boys’ school (aka grammar school). Your folks get you a lunchbox and a backpack for the big day. Your goals are to make good grades, make new friends, and not poop your pants. Drawing from what you learned in kindergarten, you do well the first couple of years: reading, writing, and learning what to do with the numbers you learned. Who knew you could add them and subtract them? Things go well until second grade, when they throw you a curveball with multiplication and division. Not to be outdone, the third-grade teacher hits you with long division. Then, in fourth grade: diagramming sentences, similes, metaphors, and onomatopoeia. But—you didn’t poop your pants!
Fifth grade is more of the same, except you can get in a pickup game without the teachers thinking you are fighting. While pooping your pants is not a real threat anymore, you develop a keen appreciation for potty humor that will remain with you until your mid-40s. Every time someone passes gas, you will find it hard not to respond with, “Voice has changed, but your breath’s the same.” These grammar school years are all focused on the goal of preparing for middle school and the ultimate goal of high school.
In middle school, you reinforce everything you learned in grammar school and catch up on things you were weak in. Mostly, you perfect the art of staring out the window and daydreaming. In middle school, you are introduced to organized sports, band, and other extracurricular activities. A whole new set of goals—such as making the varsity team and lettering—presents itself. You also start to notice girls. You start bathing several times a month and get some of the dirt out from under your fingernails when you clip them. The girls you meet view this as important as not pooping your pants. So now you have two great hygiene goals that will be with you for life.
In high school, you get back to the business of learning. Your goals focus on making grades that will get you into college and doing well in your sport, band, or chosen activity. Your grades may suffer initially because of your old middle school habit of staring out the window. However, you resourcefully kick that habit by staring at girls instead. Your grades may not get any better, but it's a lot more fun! Your goals increase as you work your way up the high school ladder—from day-to-day survival as a freshman to social life, making good friends, and trying to date some of those girls who still don’t like your dirty fingernails. Friday night ballgames, proms, senior trips, and hanging out with your friends will create great memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy them while you can!
And now, as you approach graduation and attention turns toward college, apprenticeships, military service, or jobs, enjoy the last summer of your youth.
Shed no tears and keep in touch with your high school friends as you build new friendships in future endeavors.
Set a goal to strive for—and always remember: don’t poop your pants!
Jon Regan Walters
Colonel, Retired