Hi. It’s me. “Jemma.” But you may call me “Dama.”
That means “lady,” and I am every bit of that — with a dose of sass. You’ll see it in the way I strut. I have a lot to strut about because life in the beginning could have gone very wrong if my auntie hadn’t shown up. They found my mother pregnant and tied to a tree, surviving on rocks. That explains my sass and my insistence on premium living conditions. We were born for better things. Like sunshine. Upholstery. And lots of snacks.
The moment I arrived in my new home, my whole family safe with their humans, I met the love of my life — aside from my awesome human mom. My vessel for life appeared: the couch. I immediately claimed it. Popped up. Pitched upright in the corner. Snuggled in. Yes, this will do. Mine. No negotiations. Thank you. Now pet me. Aren’t I cute? I’m going to sit right here and watch life happen. My motto: “Life begins on the couch.” It’s my home base.
Most of my days are about eating, supervising and maintaining eye-level dominance from the couch. I do not gaze out windows like common dogs. Nature bores me. I prefer my people. They all have opposable thumbs and access to refrigerators.
I am a medium-sized Staffordshire mix of brilliance. Tan coat. White tuxedo chest. Matching white socks. Permanently unimpressed expression with watchful eyes. I look like I’m judging you — because I am. Mostly about snack distribution and how best to manipulate something fun in the house. Like distracting you so you leave treasures on the counter for me to “clean up” when you turn your back. I also rhumba the floor. I saw you drop something. I’m contributing.
In my younger years, I had a tendency to overindulge. I went to college with Mom and majored in Socializing and Advanced Snacking. That’s when I earned one of my many nicknames: “Chunk.” Well, those days are over. It’s “Dama” now. Growth. I hide my curves better these days.
I like what I like. I manipulate strategically. I nap professionally. I rule gently.
From my rocky beginnings to my present-day royalty, one thing remains true: this house is my kingdom. That couch is my throne. You? My staff. Now pet me and carry on.
Remember, I’m the luckiest dog on the planet with the best mom in the universe. Expect big things, people.