kara ruth photo
I’ve made being single my personality for as long as I can remember. For a while, it was an insecurity. Something I didn’t really talk about. And if I did, I learned to make fun of myself about it first, before anyone else did.
Then, in what feels like a blink of an eye but was actually years of work on myself, being single became a superpower to me. It opened doors, built opportunities for me, and gave me the gift of independent self-empowerment.
Posting on TikTok two years ago about dating in Charleston grew me a community who wanted my stories and thoughts. But it also forced me to be courageous, and share the truth that was so hard for me to face: I’ve never been in a “real” relationship.
I filmed a video sharing my feelings on never having a boyfriend, and how it's affected my dating life, both in Charleston and in general. I posted it, closed the app, and wondered why in the world I just shared such personal information on the internet.
Little did I know just how much that video would change my life and the lives of so many girls who felt the same struggles I did, but never talked about them.
After that first video went viral, I made more. I dove deeper into my feelings, sharing things I only ever talked about with my therapist. My thoughts resonated with millions, and I ended up being interviewed for a USA Today article about my videos.
I’m not a crier, but I couldn’t help but shed a tear reading the article live for the first time. It was surreal to see my biggest insecurity lead to such incredible success. An extra tear may or may not have been shed reading the first sentence: “Nicole Farina has never had a boyfriend.” Like okay USA Today, we get it…
From there, I confidently leaned into my singledom. 18-year-old me would never believe the words I’m about to type: I have loved being single. Especially in a city as special as Charleston. While it can be hell to date here, it is a beautiful place to be single.
But 18-year-old me would also never believe that my single era has officially come to an end. There were years on end of me believing that I should just get a tattoo that says SINGLE across my forehead. Kidding, but I just couldn’t picture life not being the single girl I’ve come to love.
But isn’t it funny how life works? You go on a random Hinge date to Faculty Lounge on a Tuesday in March, and end up with your first boyfriend.
I’m happy, excited, scared, nervous…am I just quoting the lyrics to “22” by Taylor Swift?
I’ve been single in the Holy City for almost four years. And the most important lesson I’ve learned is the importance of dating yourself, and also dating your city.
Fall in love with your friends, your life, your environment, yourself. Have girls night and guys nights and be silly down King Street until 2am. Take solo walks along The Battery, try restaurants off the beaten path, go on a random date with a guy you met at the bar.
So while I might not be single in the Holy City anymore, that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere. Carrie Bradshaw still had her column while she was dating Big, Aidan, and post-it note guy, right?
My stories and your stories need to be told, because being single in the Holy City is your time to shine. Embrace it, enjoy it, and thrive in it. Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
