We all seek happiness, yet the majority of people are unhappy. It seems like the more we acquire, the wealthier we become, the more complicated and chaotic life is, the more our happiness decreases.
Happiness is not found in things or by others, but, in our culture, we are taught the opposite. When I finish school, when I get that car, when I get the second car, when I get that promotion, when I get married, when I have children and on and on. However, we will never find our happy if we are focused on living in the future of more. When the more arrives, we don’t know what to do with ourselves because we are so future-focused that we forget what’s happening now; then we’re right back in the cycle of when I have more.
This cycle repeats itself until we learn that true happiness cannot be achieved solely by fulfilling our desires, often referred to as the “hungry ghost.” It doesn’t matter how much you feed it, it will never be satisfied. Pema Chödrön wrote, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know” and the same experiences of emptiness and unhappiness continue over and over if we continue to live in the future of more.
We break the cycle when we realize the world is changing and a lot of it is out of our control. When that happens, we can learn to soften our expectations and focus on what we can control in our life, and that’s how we respond right now. This is the only moment we can control, no matter how diligently we try. How we respond to others is a direct reflection on ourselves, and, if we can show up in the present moment with compassion and gratitude and appreciate what we have, we can appreciate what is happening around us now. Now is where happiness has an opportunity to blossom.
Living in a state of stress accelerates our hormones of fight, flight or freeze. This way of life prevents us from connecting to our innate nature of joy. We are born to be happy and joyful, but, somewhere along the way, we lost it by attaching to the concept of more. Letting go and detaching from an outcome that hasn’t happened leaves room for new experiences to reveal themselves, and, sometimes, the experiences encountered along the journey are actually what we needed to begin with.
Be here now. Enjoy where you are, trust the process and be kind. This not only takes a lot less energy than becoming frustrated, angry or resentful, but it will also improve your health. Your nervous system can chill out.
Happiness is born in the present moment. You don’t have to be happy about everything, but be happy about everything you have and create your own sunshine. Your sunbeams will be felt by everyone you encounter.