I recently challenged myself to clean up and clear out my phone contact list. I set two simple rules: 1) I must have had a meaningful conversation with the person in the last six months, and 2) the individual must reach out to me with the same frequency that I reach out to them. Drumroll...I went from thousands of contacts to 143 individuals. The audit results did not surprise me at this point in my journey. As we evolve, some connections become less aligned with who we are today. Letting go of those contacts allows us to free up emotional and mental energy. It’s not about negativity or burning bridges, but about recognizing that not everyone is meant to travel the entire journey with us. By intentionally curating your circle, you open space for relationships that reflect your current self, promoting healthier, more authentic connections.
We are conditioned to hold on—to relationships, roles, and situations that may have once served us but no longer do. As we grow, change is inevitable, yet we often resist it out of fear or guilt. There’s an unspoken expectation that we must cling to who we were yesterday, even when that version of ourselves no longer fits. But here’s the truth: you are allowed to outgrow people, outgrow things, outgrow situations, without guilt, without shame, without explanation.
Outgrowing does not mean discarding or disrespecting the past. Rather, it is an acknowledgment that you are becoming something more, that your soul craves new horizons. It’s easy to feel weighed down by the discomfort of change, but that discomfort is a signal—a sign that you are evolving.
We are allowed to release what no longer nurtures us, whether that’s a stagnant relationship, a limiting belief, or an environment that constrains our growth. This does not make us selfish. It makes us whole. Growth requires room, and sometimes, the only way to find that space is to let go.
We often attach guilt to outgrowing things, fearing that in doing so, we hurt others or abandon our past selves. But in reality, growth is not a betrayal—it’s a celebration of who we are becoming. When you step into your true self, you give others permission to do the same. By allowing ourselves to grow, we model the power of evolution, the beauty of transformation.
There is no need to apologize for outgrowing something. You do not need to justify your growth. Every stage of your journey is valid, every twist in the road a necessary part of your unfolding. Let go of the idea that you owe anyone an explanation for how you are becoming. Your growth is your own.
And so, my reminder to you is this: allow yourself the freedom to grow, unapologetically. Let go of what no longer serves your higher self, and embrace what nurtures your soul. You are allowed to change. You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to outgrow without attaching an apology letter to every stage of your growth.
This is your journey, and it is a beautiful one. Don’t let fear or guilt keep you small. Grow, bloom, and rise into the healed individual you are meant to be.
Until next time friends.
Stephanie Pascarella is a National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Stephanie Pascarella offers consciousness-based coaching built upon the fundamentals of Ayurveda and meditation, offering comprehensive wellness programs that leverage the latest in neuroscience, evolutionary and positive psychology for individuals. As a seasoned health and wellness advocate educated under Deepak Chopra with a deep-rooted knowledge of Ayurvedic healing practices, Stephanie has spent over a decade exploring the profound connections between the physical and spiritual aspects of living.
Additionally, Stephanie is an internationally recognized environmentalist as CEO and Founder of Wash with Water. Trusted since 2012 as a global CPG leader in the wellness sector, Stephanie has successfully partnered with non-profits like rePurpose Global to fund the collection, processing, and reuse of ocean-bound plastic waste. Building one of the first certified Negative Plastic Footprint, BCorp and Climate Neutral companies, Stephanie Pascarella has enabled the removal of millions of pounds of low-value plastic waste otherwise landfilled, burned, or flushed into the oceans every year.
